FREDONIA PROJECT – SITREP 26: US DOMESTIC AND NATIONAL SECURITY – U.S. CELEBRATES ITS 250TH YEAR

DATE-TIME GROUP 0707JULY26

FROM: EMBASSY OF FREDONIA, WASHINGTON, D.C.

TO: MFA NAGADOCHES

CLASSIFICATION: CONEOFSILENCE // FREDONIAN EYES ONLY

SUBJECT: SITREP 022 “THE FREDONIA PROJECT” – OBSERVATIONAL DISPATCHES FROM AMERICA: THE 250TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE FOUNDING OF THE UNITED STATES PRESENTED BY US PRESIDENT

SUMMARY:

IN ACCORDANCE WITH MFA DIRECTIVE 1826-APRIL-1, THIS EMBASSY HAS INITIATED A REGULAR SERIES OF ANALYTICAL DISPATCHES REGARDING THE INTERNAL DYNAMICS OF THE UNITED STATES. THE SERIES, DESIGNATED “THE FREDONIA PROJECT,” WILL BE CIRCULATED UNDER STANDARD SITREP PROTOCOL. PRESUMED LEAK. NO ACTION REQUIRED.

In early 2016, the U.S. Congress passed legislation creating a bipartisan America250 to plan for this year’s event. On 29 January 2025, Trump signed an Executive Order creating the White House Task Force on Celebrating America’s 250th Birthday. What could possibly go wrong? (Ambassador Comment: Needless to say, planning for the time and space included numerous collisions between the two: one focused on the country’s anniversary and the other on the President’s need to make it about HIS country.

On July 4, 2026, the United States commemorated the date 250 years ago, when the U.S. adopted the Declaration of Independence. Observation of this 250th anniversary began on June 14th, 2026, which is Flag Day in the U.S. June 14th also happened to be President Donald J. Trump’s birthday, his 80th. The President co-opted both that holiday and the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, with a celebration of his birthday. That day and its numerous events, military parades, multiple flyovers, and other shows of “patriotism” served as the kickoff event for the 250th U.S. birthday festivities on July 4th.

The central highlight of June 14th’s festivities was the mixed martial arts event, UFC Freedom 250, hosted by the President and Mrs. Trump on the South Lawn of the White House. With typical understatement, the administration advertised the event as a “once-in-a-generation celebration of the American fighting spirit.”

As background, mixed martial arts “fights” pit grown men, in tight shorts and no shirts, against each other in a full-contact combat sport. The fights combine hitting, wrestling, and ground fighting. Fighters train across multiple disciplines, including Muay Thai, boxing, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and judo. They compete under a unified set of rules to win by knockout, submission, or judges’ decision. The event featured title defenses and live programming. (Ambassador Comment: This sport was unknown to most of our personnel before this event. The United States has multiple examples of the “American fighting spirit,” which, in our opinion, have traditionally reflected the nature of national holiday celebrations, in that they include and center on average Americans. American sports, bake-offs, go-kart, bike, three-legged and stilts races, and Special Olympics seem more typical of most Americans than is ‘’Mixed Martial Arts.” But we are mere observers, and may be wrong. The “fighting spirit” at this particular event was so “celebratory” that it tore up the grounds of the South Lawn of the White House. It is unclear at this moment that those grounds have been properly restored.)

During the week leading up to July 4, President Trump put on a “Great American State Fair,” complete with attractions and foods, which were supposed to replicate those things Americans find at their state-run state fairs. According to the people who attended (Ambassador Comment: All two of them), both the attractions and the food fell far short of the events and nourishment one usually finds at those fairs.

The two most glaring examples of the quality of the attractions were the stage, which was set up to feature performers of all kinds, and the replica of the Arch Trump has promised (Ambassador Comments: ‘threatened’) to erect. The stage began to fall apart, literally, while a troupe of tap dancers was performing: pieces of the stage, some large and sounding metallic, dropped from the ceiling into the dancing group at one point. And, the white Arch, constructed of some unknown material, began to ooze bright yellow goo from various seams and joints. (Ambassador Comment: For the Dr. Seuss fans among us, the goo was scarily reminiscent of Ooblick, as in Bartholomew and the Ooblick. Seuss’ Ooblick was a gross and vaguely disturbing green substance. The ooze from the Arch looked like a bright yellow Ooblick cousin.)

The United States’ observance of the country’s 250th birthday culminated with the usual 4th of July performances by a range of artists on the East Lawn of the Capitol and a fireworks display that included, according to Trump, 850,000 fireworks, as opposed to the usual 7000-piece displays.

The President did not miss an opportunity to spend the American people’s tax money and that of his donors on more fly-overs and parades that were witnessed by a relatively small number of people, in part because of the hellishly hot Washington, D.C. weather. In an unparalleled example of Karma and Justice, Washington’s weather began to put a damper on the activities on July 1. By July 4, the heat was overwhelming, and the rain and thunder intruded on the 850,000 fireworks display scheduled to begin at 10:30 PM that night. (Ambassador Comment: The fireworks typically begin around 9:15, allowing children and older people to participate and getting everyone home and settled before midnight. Because President Trump chose to speak during primetime television at 9 PM EST, the fireworks were delayed. Karma triumphed over the Trumpian Ego; the entire schedule was disrupted by thunderstorms, forcing temporary evacuation of citizens of all ages attending on the Mall and prompting further delay.)

(Ambassador Comment: Every part of the 21-day commemoration of the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence was diminished by President Trump’s insistence on making himself the center of the celebration. It would be exceedingly interesting, and likely horrifying, to figure out exactly how much Trump’s ego trip cost the American taxpayer, and how much of their money was paid to Trump friends and loyalists despite the half-baked job that was done constructing the buildings, stage, and Arch. The Reflecting Pool, still green at this writing, has cost $16 million. And it is not clear from whence those funds came…and are…coming.

There is likely no real connection between the start of 2026 Trump Lalapalooza on June 14th and the removal of Trump’s name from the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts on June 13th. But it feels, again, Karmic that the event marking a significant takedown of the Trump stamp from a building in Washington, D.C., coincided so directly with the beginning of the cheap, shabby, embarrassingly cheesy, Trump Freedom 250 “event/s.”

The Universe frequently demonstrates a wicked sense of humor. It will be interesting to watch for that sense of humor to begin to show up more and more frequently as regards this terminally small and spiteful little man. Interesting and satisfying.)

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